When I first began the page “Transforming Tash” I was only envisioning a physical change to myself. It was going to be a huge transformation, but with such a huge goal surely the physical transformation would just automatically happen. Never did I think about a transformation in the mind and spirit as well.
Six months into this journey and the physical change hasn’t happened as much as I had hoped, but the mental and emotional change has been significant.
I never before realised how hard I am on myself. How I am all or nothing. There is no in between with me. If I am on a roll and training is going well, then life is going well. However, throw in a bad weekend and suddenly it’s over. My goal is out of reach. I can’t possibly achieve what I set out to do, so why even bother. Two days later I’m back in the game and on track to reach the goal.
I need to learn to relax and get my mind under control. People say you will only go as far as your mind will allow you to and I am finally starting to appreciate how true this is.
I did have someone approach me and tell me my goal is too ambitious for me and I should perhaps delay it for a year. At the time I was annoyed and then of course the over-thinking kicked in and I realised how true they were. So a tearful message was sent to my coach and he responded with it’s time to prove them wrong.
It’s been a tough few days and to be honest I am not entirely sure I am out of the negative mind set just yet. My back is hurting (new bed), kids are sick with winter bugs, and the wine club just delivered this month’s special. It going to be a trying week but I know I will get there..